Darkness Falls
darkness falls chronicle
Serving the community since 1872
The Weather
A quiet and warming weather pattern occurs in the East while the West turns colder and remains gray.
Vol 140 Issue 44

Police held a press conference today for Brian Kolvick, the father of runaway teenager Briony Kolvick.

Briony, 16, ran away from her home in October this year after what Mr Kolvick described as "a family disagreement". Mr Kolvick described Briony as a quiet girl, unused to city life and said he feared for her safety.

"extremely concerned"

Police spokesman Geraldine McEvoy stressed that the Darkness Falls Police Department was extremely concerned for Briony's welfare, especially given her age, and was doing everything possible to reunite her with her family. She urged Briony, or anyone in contact with her, to contact Darkness Falls Police.

Briony is described as 5' 5" of slight build with dark hair and eyes. When last seen by her parents she was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt with the words "Cool story bro" printed on the front. She is believed to be wearing a dark blue jacket and carrying a rucksack printed with characters from Japanese anime cartoons.

"sick twisted and heartless"

Mr Kolvick responded to reports that he had received messages via a social networking site from someone claiming to be Briony stating that she had been abducted by "other worldly" creatures.

"Help me find my daughter" says distraught father

He denounced it as a cruel hoax and said that whoever thought that it was appropriate to make such messages, giving the impression that Briony was happy with her abduction, were "sick, twisted and heartless", as were the people who had reported sightings of Briony wearing what appeared to be a


Police "lose" shooting victim.

Police were called to the Blood Club in Pirates Wharf in the early hours of this morning in response to a report of a shooting. Witnesses reported seeing a man hit by several rounds from what police confirm was a large calibre revolver, but then standing up and running away. A police officer who attended the scene speculated that the victim might have been wearing military grade body armor, a sign of the increasingly sophisticated arsenals available to criminals.

"increasingly dangerous"

"We've seen a marked increase in the level of equipment available in certain parts of the city," said the officer, "it's reaching the point where the best arms the police have are locked in the evidence store."

City club in charity dancethon

Well known gentleman's club Summer Aphrodite held an unusual fundraiser this week, holding a strippathon to raise funds for the city's homeless shelters.

Girls and boys from the club's regular dancers, pole and lap danced for an incredible 31 solid hours, raising an impressive $52,000 to help ensure that no-one goes cold or hungry this Christmas.

Despite protests from religious and women's rights groups Summer Aphrodite has been a fixture of River Street for over fifty years and, as it is keen to point out, continues a Darkness Falls tradition dating back to the saloons and river boats of the 19th and even 18th centuries.


Bizzare elf mugger terrorizes woman

Police are hunting what they describe as a "diminutive but dangerous criminal" after a woman was attacked in the Park and 9th district of the city yesterday.

Police say the attacker was wearing green tights and a pointy cap with a bell on the top; was at most four feet tall and spoke with what is believed to be a Scandinavian accent. Reports indicate that he held up the woman, who has not been named, with a firearm that police suspect may have been a child's toy. He stated that he was "sick to his freakin pointy ears with making freakin toys", used numerous expletives, and demanded money, which he stated he was intending to use to buy "hookers and booze". His victim gave him her purse in a state of fear, upon which he is said to have skipped away singing "a jaunty tune".

Police have asked the public to remain vigilant.